Lee writes from distant memories. Memories aren’t entirely trustworthy for any of us, but they aren’t useless either.

Over the next two years, we will examine three accounts of the Mountain Meadows tragedy from a secular historian’s perspective: Blood of the Prophets, as told by Will Bagley, Sally Denton’s, American Massacre, and Juanita Brooks, whose title is the same name as the event: Mountain Meadows Massacre. We will eventually search through all four accounts in hopes of discovering the historical truth, or, at least, traditionally accepted facts. First, let’s meet John D. Lee.

He begins his book with an autobiography. He considers his beginning stormy but, in the same breath, asserts one cannot commit sins while obeying orders of the priesthood, meaning Brigham Young, his counselors, or other leaders of the church. He accepts no responsibility for his responses to their requests.

John was clearly trapped, as were many living within the Great Salt Lake Basin during the first decade of Brigham Young’s autocratic rule. In Mormondom, there was one rule: everyone must obey the mouthpiece of the Lord in all things. “When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done,” was the motto of the day. The penalty for disobedience was to be cut-off from the church, experience the loss of family, friends, possessions, and, possibly, life itself. If one was lucky enough to leave alive, he was first stripped of everything. There was no acceptable way out. Trapped, Lee justified his behavior.

John D. Lee was born in September, 1823 in Kaskaskia, Illinois. His parents were Catholic. John was christened as an infant. Early in his life, his mother became seriously ill, his father became a slave to drink, and he was sent away to be raised by a French nurse until he was eight years old. He moved in with his aunt and worked hard to forget French and relearn English. He endured a whipping everyday. Often, it was brutal.

At sixteen, John left that scene and became a weekly mail carrier. When away from home, the land where he roamed had large bands of wild horses, often feeding on evergreens, nutritious grass and vegetation. Cattle and hogs ran wild, game of every kind, large and small, roamed freely. John’s life had pleasures and sorrows.

John changed mail routes a few times at his own request. It was hard work for a grown man, yet alone a young lad. It exposed him to the extremes of weather and dangers he was barely equipped to manage. His next job, as fireman on the steamboat Warrior, was also hard and equally as dangerous.

Fortune smiled on John when Mr. Bogges offered him employment as a sales clerk in his grocery business. This opportunity doubled his pay. It also kept him busy functioning as salesman and bartender, and later, as assistant manager. He had little time for sleep. He started heavy gambling. Mr. Bogges took him aside and explained the realities of the life of a gambler. John promised he would quit playing games of chance while in his employ. He said he kept his promise.

At twenty years of age, John quit working for Bogges and Company. He had two good broadcloth suits, five hundred dollars in cash, and an urge to reunite with a childhood friend, Emily. John slipped back into his gambling ways. Emily strongly disapproved and the two went their separate ways.

A year later, John said he married the ‘bride of my youth’, Agatha Ann Woolsey and set-up housekeeping. A son was born and then a daughter, but John had just begun. He planned for a large family.

John had a varied interest in religion and he owned a large house. He often entertained preachers of various faiths, but the Methodists, Baptists, and Campbellites were soon supplanted by the Mormon elders. And soon, as he put it, “my whole soul was absorbed in these things.” It did not take long for him to sell everything he had and move to Far West, Missouri where he joined the main body of Saints living under the leadership of their prophet, Joseph Smith. He and his wife were baptized on June 17, 1838.

Soon after, he learned about the priesthood. Words like ‘strict’, ‘obedience’, and ‘governed’ rolled around in the back of his mind. If he was faithful, he expected to advance in intelligence as he now knew life was eternal progression. He built a home on Ambrosia Creek where he became frugal and industrious. He improved his little farm and attended meetings three times a week. He whole-heartedly committed himself to the Mormon faith.

John was present during the Fight at Gallatin, a chapter in Joseph Smith’s life where a serious fight between the Mormons and their neighbors took place over the right to vote in the upcoming election.

He had become a member of the Danite Band, a group formed in response to being driven out of Kirtland. The Danites were to protect the Prophet and other leaders, as well as the Saints. In this ceremony, John, and all prospective members, took an oath to stand by and sustain each other. To make any of the organization’s secrets public was punishable by death.

At the voting polls, one of the Mormon elders stepped forward to vote and was attacked and beaten severely. Another was struck by a half-dozen men on the head.

Another was hit on the back of the head with a chunk of oak lumber. The distress sign was given and John sprang into action. He claimed nine men had their skulls broken. I don’t believe that history will support this notion, but this is the story that John D. wrote the last few days before they took his life. Three months after the fight, the entire band of Mormons were informed they were considered enemies of the state and were unwelcome in Missouri.

Since I am reading in preparation to write a story of a later time, I skipped forward to the place where Brigham Young asserted himself as the leader of the twelve apostles. He also asserted his leadership over John D. and required his property in Far West in exchange for a flat next to his apartment. Always useful, John was given a mission to build a neat brick dwelling for Brigham’s brother, Joseph–without pay. This rankled John from time to time; still, he listened and obeyed.

John goes through several pages explaining the murders that occurred on the orders of the leaders of the church, but I’d rather review these after reading the secular historians. John is angry to find himself in jail awaiting his death sentence, and he doesn’t have his notes. There will be a better place to sort out the evil deeds that are purported to have occurred under Brigham Young’s leadership. Let’s just get to know John a little more.

In the spring of 1845, after being ousted from Far West and relocated to Nauvoo, Illinois, and after the death of Joseph and his brother in the Carthage Jail, the elders and workers were diligently working on the unfinished Nauvoo temple. The Saints were preparing for the long march west in search of a new home. John says, all persons were required to be adopted by some of the leading men of the church. During these adoption ceremonies, the adoptee was required to agree “to cleave to them (the family they were being adopted into) through time and eternity.” John was the second son adopted into Brigham Young’s family.

Celestial marriage had been practiced for some time, but before leaving Nauvoo and while the temple was still available for use, there was a succession of plural marriages, adoptions, endowments, and baptisms for the dead. This work went on day and night without rest. There was an estimate of between twenty-five and fifty ceremonies each day. The widows of Joseph and Hyrum were remarried for ‘time only’ to the president or one of the apostles. These women continued to expect to join their deceased in the celestial kingdom, while living with another man during this earthly time.

Every book written by a secular historian affirms how Brigham Young used others. Before leaving Nauvoo, Brigham proposed Joseph Heywood, a grocer, turn-over his whole stock of goods to the first presidency and the apostles for their continuation of the journey. Elder Heywood resisted, explaining he had the goods on credit and they were not his to give away. John tells us Brigham suggested he should pay the creditors with the sale of Nauvoo property. Brother Heywood was doubtful. Property of a deserted city was not very valuable. Brigham insisted they must have the goods. He promised he would raise the money to pay the creditors after the new city was established. Heywood saw no option. He turned over his goods knowing it was unlikely he would ever be reimbursed.

The march began. John tells us the police were searching for Brigham and that is why he could not wait until spring to begin the move. Possibly, but history blames the early departure in the dead of winter across the frozen ice on the rising hostilities and opposition in Nauvoo. The non-Mormons simply wanted them out.

Garden Grove and Mt. Pisgah were two important stopping places where the Saints tarried long enough to build dwellings and plant crops. There would be several different streams of pioneers traveling over the prairie in the months that followed.

Thomas L. Kane and Colonel Allen, both members of the United States Army, visited the leading elders in Council Bluffs with the proposition to raise a volunteer army to help in the Mexican War. This was thought to be a way to help defer the traveling expenses for such a large group, as well as to provide pay for the families. Men were sent back to Garden Grove and Mt. Pisgah to gather the necessary men. A farewell dance was enjoyed by all. The next morning the men, along with a few of their wives, departed for Ft. Leavenworth.

John was ordered to return to Missouri to buy cattle and provisions for trade and exchange. He was successful in loading twenty wagons with provisions and exchanged many costly horses for cheaper oxen. On his return, he found the leading elders had moved across the Missouri River to a place called Cutler’s Park. He was driving five hundred head of cattle.

When Brigham asked John to pick-up the military pay for the volunteer army, he did not want to go. He gave Young good reason for his reluctance. As he tells it, Brigham’s answer was, “Thus saith the Lord. You shall go.” Brigham promised to take care of John’s family in his absence. John responded with obedience.

John and his helpers arrived at Ft. Leavenworth where they expected to pick-up the military pay, but the army and the pay had left the fort. They eventually caught up with soldiers, had a few encounters with Indians, and returned with some money in their personal pockets and a few extra mules.

It was mid-December, 1846 and John found his family exposed to the pelting storm. If what he says is true, one would think he learned right then not to trust the prophet, and yet, he continually obeys. There are a few things about John’s story that don’t seem to add up. Also, John puts a great deal of faith in his dreams and at other times hears voices. I think he was not always grounded in reality.

The next day, Brigham and John meet and transfer the money. John said he confronted Brigham for not caring for his family, and for having butchered his cattle and consumed them during his absence. Brigham calmed him down with promises of future blessings as well as one hundred dollars. John asserted he never saw the money A few paragraphs later, John tells us of a time when Brigham Young built a grist mill and ground meal for the people. He charged a heavy toll for the service.

When Brigham Young asked John to get thirty-three teams in order to prepare for their vanguard journey further west, John could only find thirty. Brigham sent him out again and John returned with three more teams. He hoped to join the leaders in the front-line, but he was ordered to stay behind. He was shown a large field of land and was apprised to raise corn for the people who were to stay behind. Once the place for settlement was located, the leaders would return and gather the Saints that remained in the camp.

John finishes his story. His attorney, William W. Bishop, introduces us to his presentation of John D. Lee’s confession of the massacre. I look forward to reading it, after I read the three secular historians. I will keep in mind, this man finds spiritual meaning and prophecy in his nightly dreams, and, at times, he hears voices. Not only that, I read the opinion of one of the Piute Indians who watched John as he aimed his firearm at the chests of unarmed men. The Piute says: “he was like a wild beast who had tasted of fresh blood”. I’m sure many thoughts flooded through John D. Lee at that moment, and many events brought him to the fatal day when he boldly took part in the Mountain Meadows Massacre. We shall see.